The Perks of Living Life Backwards
What Benjamin Button has to teach us about the well lived life.
Have you ever hangout with an old person and thought, They’re younger than many people I know?
There are two people that come to mind immediately. One is a guy named Brent from my church (he’s a middle aged guy but still… older than me) and the other is my late my Grandma (my mom’s mom). She was really the only grandparent I knew growing up and she was so full of life. I feel as though she got younger (in many ways) the older she got. She taught me lessons about perseverance, fortitude, compassion. She was more active in her community than most virile people I know and such a deeply connected person. When she died a few years back, it was incredible to see the breadth and width of the lives that she touched. I think there’s something about being old that allows you to do that in better ways.
I mention these people in my life because recently, I watched The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and it got me thinking. If you’re not familiar with the F. Scott Fitzgerald short story or David Fincher film, I’m going to spoil the ending so if you want to go watch it first or read the story, do that now so you’re not mad at me. Just subscribe to this newsletter before you leave so you can come back and read the rest.
…If you’re coming back from watching or reading the source material, welcome back. I’ll jump right back in.
This story follows the life of Benjamin Button, who lives in reverse. He’s born a grotesque old man and dies as an infant in his lovers arms (she cares for him as a mother would her child). The stuff that happens in between is the real story.
I’ve not read the short story but I found the film deeply thought provoking. It made me question my own humanity and how I think about time, growing up, the willingness to be quiet and listen well, what it means to be an ‘old soul’… perhaps the most potent thought that came from my exploration through this strange tale though, was the simple question: What would my life look like if I lived in reverse? Obviously, I’m not able to travel in time backwards but I can reverse that in some ways right? I can be intentional and measured in my approach to circumstances that are out of my control and take perspective often to know where I’ve been and learn from the lessons of others around me in directions I may be going. Can I build maturity through this process?
Keeping Old Friends
Benjamin grows up in an old folks home. His example of people doing life is around the aged. Those who have done A LOT of life already. What better place to learn about life than from the elderly?
These people are his teachers, his confidants, his family. He is one of them and also so new and fresh to life. At the same time, he gives them new perspective and is so curious. There’s a mutual exchange of learning old to young, young to old.
Becoming Familiar With Death
He becomes familiar with death from an early age because he’s around it so much. Death, is by definition, not a part of life but it is something that everyone goes through at one time or another. I think there’s a good argument for coming to grips with that reality and instead of sweeping that simple fact under the rug, being reminded of it often. It certainly shapes the way that Benjamin lives his life. He realizes how short life really is and how meaningful relationship is because of that fact. He’s not a perfect person by any means but he gets to hear all these incredible stories of people who have come to the end of their lives and apply it to his own. At the end of it all, little bits of their stories become his story.
Learning From Others
We are the amalgamation of the people that pour into us. I think it’s important to remember that. ‘Living Backwards’ — being friends with people who have lots of experience, getting their advice, staying curious, taking perspective of how their knowledge applies to your own life… I think these are the things that can give us a ‘leg up’ in life.
I know I’ve been all over the place with this one. Thanks for baring with me. I’ll leave you with this — Do you have a ‘Benjamin Button’ in your life? Someone who is practicing this art of living backwards? Are you that person? What have you learned from them? There are many who have been that in my life. I’d love to hear your thoughts.
My grandmother was one of these people for me. She embodied this practice I think very well. I want to be that to someone… to many people actually. How can I be that to others? I’m still wrestling with the idea of living backwards.
Until next time,